notforthefainthearted

Next set

2005-10-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

Tofi...the pRoud Dad

The Holy Family

as promised...

2005-10-13T23:44:00.000+08:00

Trixie

It's not my fault!

2005-10-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

It's not my fault i'm like this.

there's nothing i can do if you can't accept me as who i really am.

It's always been there.

If this is goodbye, i'm sorry. It's my fault.

Welcome Twinkle!

2005-10-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

My dog Tanya just gave birth to a baby girl! We might name her Twinkle because her parents' name both starts with T. Thanks to all those who suggested names for her. Please pray that they both survive this.

I'll post pictures in my next entry kasi ngayon ay namatay na ang aking cam. =))

Here's to a month-long of puyatan! *toast*

Paumanhin

2005-10-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

Sorry kung hindi ako nakapunta.

If you only knew how bad it makes me feel to not be with you on your special day.

My personality is....

2005-10-05T09:41:00.000+08:00

Guardian (SJ)

"You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented."
-sensible? down to earth? goal-oriented? somewhat true.

"Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules."
- I was born to break them, honey.

"You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader."
- Dominant, yes. Natural leader? I have yet to find out.

"You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you."
- Really? I swear I never follow them!

"A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.
You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up."
- This I really, really doubt.

"In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly."
- hahaha...

At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.

With others, you tend to be polite and formal.

As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.

"On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!"
-Parties? Yeah!

The Three Question Personality Test
http://www.blogthings.com/threequestionpersonalitytest/

BLIND

2005-10-05T09:38:00.000+08:00

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

**I'm just loving this song nowadays... :(

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object

2005-10-05T09:36:00.000+08:00

The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get.
You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them.
The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase.

You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away.
You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance.
Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't!

You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors.
Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor.
You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofseducerareyouquiz/

Sembreak

2005-10-05T09:17:00.000+08:00

Or not...

Lapit na sembreak.

Dapat ba ko matuwa?

Should I work or lose weight?

If I work, there's a big chance I'll lose weight while earning my moolah.

If I lose weight, I have more control of my time and at the same time, will have to by a new set of wardrobe, assuming that I'll lose a lot of weight. Haha.

2005-10-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

Pag nakikita kita, iba tibok ng puso ko.

Pero pag nandyan ka na at kausap kita, natotorpe naman ako.

Gusto kong sabihing wag mo na ko pansinin.

Pero mas gusto kong sabihing," Pwedeng akin ka na lang?"

Ano bang gagawin ko?

Pano kung mahal na kita?

2005-10-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

You're here now.

So you might as well go here

PS: It wouldn't hurt to leave some comments. :D

thankee!!

Extreme

2005-10-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

Sabi ni Tin, pag extreme daw ang emotions mo, kung anu-ano ang naisusulat mo sa blog mo. Eto ang sagot nya sakin nang banggitin kong may pinagsisihan akong ipost dahil nabasa ito ng taong tinutukoy ko.

Iniisip ko lang, baka itong post na ito ay pagsisihan ko rin in the future. Wag naman sana.

Hindi naman extreme ung nararamdaman ko. Pero masaya lang ako. Kakaibang saya. Saya na matagal kong hindi naramdaman. Saya dulot ng isang bagong kakilala.

Sana makita ulit kita. Iba ka.

Finally!

2005-10-02T21:36:00.000+08:00

Finally, lumabas ka rin!

Sa sandamukal na beses kong inedit, nirepublish at pinalitan ang aking blog, sa wakas, nagpakita ka rin... at maganda naman, in fairness. Simple nga lang, pero pwede na. :D

2005-09-01T02:15:00.000+08:00

Sobrang inulan at binaha ang birthday ko. Hindi na ko nakaluwas. Sa SM Marilao ko na lang binalak pumunta, muntik pa kong mapagsaraduhan dahil sa isa't kalahating oras na ako'y nastuck sa kahabaan ng traffic sa McArthur Hway sa may Pandayan hanggang sa Marilao.

Ang tanging nagawa ko na lang ay kumain at bumili ng cake. Ni hindi ko na nagawang uwian ng chichirya ang mga aso ko.

Buti na lang...

Binigyan ako ni Anchit ng singsing. Promise ring? Pwede. Dahil pati siya meron.

Kinabukasan, napag-isip-isip kong gusto ko palang pakainin at ilibre ang mga tropa ko. Kahit wala kong pera, go lang. Huli ko silang nakasama nung debut ko pa. Buti na lang ang mga wala nuon ay nakarating ngayon.

Kwentuhan. Kainan. May party-hats pa at free cheesecake courtesy of Pizza Hut. Syempre, mawawala ba naman ang picture-taking?

Then I realized... it wasn't so bad after all...

Say bye-bye to teenage years

2005-09-01T02:03:00.000+08:00

Oohhh...

So this is how it feels to be twenty?

How does it feel?

When I was younger, I used to look up to people aged 19 above. I saw them as mature and responsible human beings.

But here I am. I'm 20 years old and I don't act responsibly and maturely. (I think) I look around, I see my friends and we're all the same. We laugh a lot. We laugh and we laugh loud. We still dress in shirt and jeans, with matching flip-flops. We run in the streets. We play. In short, we're still the playful and immature girls and boys we've always been.

But we know what we've always wanted. We know the path we want to go to. We have goals to reach and we're aware that we can achieve it. We're serious students, but we know how to have fun.

I know what I want. I know where to go to. But honestly, I still want to pursue other things. I want to be a broadcaster, or anything related to that field. But I also want to be a historian, an archeologist, a forensic pathologist. I want to travel the world. I want to be a philanthropist. I want to build a foundation for children, battered women and aged people.

There's so many things I still want to do. Twenty is a young age. But I'm scared that there wouldn't be enough time.

Badtrip ka

2005-09-01T02:00:00.000+08:00

Minsan na lang ako magpopost, mage-error ka pa!

Dahil bente na ko, I will deal with this maturely.

Uulitin ko na naman!!!

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR...............

Tropa ko

2005-08-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

The people who kept me sane way back in high school...though I don't see them that much anymore.

Look for me!!! -->

----> many adore them, but only us can have them....

wahahahahaha!

Grace
Joy
Joanne
Ranx
Lyanne
Chie

Potpot
Jaja
Macmac
Berong
Rommel
Paul
Bryan

Will you miss me when I'm gone?

2005-07-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

So this is how it feels to be the object of desire.

If someone finds you intellectually attractive and sexually appealing, without being slutty or vulgar, will that flatter you? I'd say yes.

But that someone asks you to sleep with him at the same time.

Ok na sana eh.

Harmless flirting is fine with me. But that's that. No more.

How does it feel to want someone so badly but you know that person can never be yours...

even for just a day...

Obsession...

Lust...

Desire...

Passion...

It was once said that those who have sex send off these stimuli to the opposite sex that makes guys go ga-ga over you.

I guess it's true then.

2005-07-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

After 4 years of being in a serious relationship, my latest realization is something quite the contrary. This is one of the things I miss the most.

Allow me to share with you the reasons on why I think SINGLEHOOD ROCKS! (although i don't think i'm exactly the right person to say this..) _haha!_

1. You don't need another person to ask persmission to. Face it, pahirapan na nga magpaalam sa parents mo, tapos dadagdagan mo pa ng bf or gf mo. There are tons and tons of questions to answer. "Sinong kasama mo?", " Sa'n kayo pupunta?", "Ano'ng oras ka uuwi?" Hirap, di ba? Lalo na kung sa text pa tinanong yan...which leads me to my next point...

2. You only get to communicate with the people you WANT to communicate with. No obligations to report to anyone via text, or via phone. Siyempre, if you have a significant other, you are required to reply to that person's text message, or return his call. You have no excuses to not reply. Sometimes nga, padadalhan ka pa ng load para lang makareply. (It's one of the perks of being in a relationship, but of course, ang pinadalang load ay sa kanya lang dapat maubos.)

3. You have more time for your friends! Gone are the days when you'll be the last one to know about the latest happenings in town. Plus, you can be out all night with them with only your parents worrying about your whereabouts. (labo!) Now, you're friends won't feel awkward inviting you to gimmicks and parties because they know you're free. And.....you don't have to ask permission from your friends if you can "bring someone along".

4. You can dress any way you want to, especially if you're intention is to catch someone's attention in a bar, or wherever. Haha. Boyfriends will only want you to wear sexy outfits when you're with them. They'll think you're sexy and be proud of you and just make other guys jealous. Just make sure na kaya mong panindigan.

5. You get to spend your parents' hard-earned money all for yourself. Now, isn't that the greatest perk of being single? No need for your conscience to bug you everytime you buy a gift for you SO. If you're just new in the relationship, it's fine. Kikiligin ka pa, trust me. But in the long run, when you realize that there are lot of other things worth spending on, it'll be a hard habit to stop, especially if the other person already made the habit of expecting something from you on a regular basis.

Other things worth spending on:

a. gimmicks with friends
b. movies
c. books
d. magazines
e. dinner
f. spa

6. You get to choose whoever you want to date! Uh-huh..yeah! This...is self-explanatory.

Disclaimer: This, of course, is just my personal opinion. Don't agree with it? I don't care! Haha...

Lumalabas ba bitterness ko? Anyway, i'll update this if i ever think of anything new again..

How To Treat The Woman You Love

2005-06-15T14:11:00.000+08:00

Only real men know how to treat the woman he loves. This is the sweetest thing in the world.Read, Learn, and Put into good use.

1. Tell her she is beautiful, not hot. (but hot is good....:D)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for asecond.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. (ditto!)

5 . Always tell her how beautiful she is, no matterwhat she's wearing.

6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. (it's really comforting, trust me!)

7 . Recognize the small things . . . THEY USUALLY MEAN THE MOST! (it's the sweetest thing you can do!)

8 . Call her baby. (my fave petname...no one calls me that, unfortunately..grrr! )

9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

11 . Write her notes.

12 . Introduce her to family and friends as yourgirlfriend.

13 . Play with her hair. (it's a sign you can't live without her..or so they say.)

14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.

15 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

16 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.

17 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle ofthe night just because you missed her.

18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

19 . Carve your names into a tree.

20 . If she's mad at you, apologize because SHE is always right. (oh yeah...nothing you can do about it)

21 . CUDDLE.

22 . Bring her flowers just because.

23 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.

24 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

25 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

26 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing. (so romantic!)

27 . Kiss her in the rain. (yummy!)

28 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.

NOTE: This article is just taken from Friendster, posted by my bestest friend-ster, NERHIE.

i'll be missing you

2005-06-13T12:06:00.000+08:00

a lot of my friends are leaving. some will be leaving friendster. some will leave the country.

in a few months, i'll be one of those people.

but now, all i'm saying bye-bye to is Friendster.

in the few months i've become a multiple-account user in the biggest online community there is, i've gained a lot of friends. i was actually a skeptic in this kind of thing. saying things like, "they have the same friends in all their accounts, so what's the point in creating another one with just the same faces there?" then i started doing the same thing. and i realized friendships are created over time and over accounts.

i even earned a best friend-ster...nerhie. what's sad is that she'll be leaving for Saipan next month to finish her internship there. and she'll be gone for 6 months. though we haven't met personally yet, i trusted her and so did she. we become close in no time. we share the same sentiments of our friendster sisters, we talk about girly stuff and we also talk about our problems, sometimes.

another friend of mine who's leaving the country is potpot. he'll have his internship in Japan for a year. in two weeks, we'll all be saying bon voyage to him. he's one of my closest guy friends. we've been friends since high school and we shared a lot of good and bad times together...siya ang boyfriend ko sa tropa. haha.... we were together yesterday kasi our barkada went swimming. one last outing before our last year in college begins.

i'll be missing these two people..but knowing that they'll be coming back gives me hope that i'll see them again. it's not goodbye...we'll just have to wait a few months before we get to see each other again..

*sigh*

Reasons why Women find it hard to find the Man of their Dreams

2005-06-09T00:19:00.000+08:00

NOTE: Just got this from friendster....Astig...:D

1.The nice men are ugly.

2.The handsome men are not nice.

3.The handsome and nice men are gay.

4.The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money

6.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual,don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual,somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome,somewhatnice and have somemoney and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move,automatically loseinterest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?!!!!!

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job, to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

!LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH!

right and wrong

2005-06-01T15:22:00.000+08:00

they say that the rights and wrongs are relative for each person. and this past few days i've been contemplating on just a single question:

how do we know we're in the right relationship?

questions on relationships are the hardest to answer. because to each is his own. there's no right and there's no wrong. what may be right for you is wrong for the other, or the other way around.

what makes a relationship right?

i asked a close friend recently: is being intellectually compatible important in a relationship? she said, "yes, because you'll grow old with that person, tatanda kayong magkasama..."

and i realized she was right...

but what if the person you're with right now isn't in the same wavelength as you are?

tapos you met someone intellectually stimulating, someone you've been wanting to meet for a long time?

what's the right thing to do?

i've never been a moralist...i'm never one who'll preach on what's right and what's wrong..

but lately i've always been trying to do the right things, and it's new for me. and hard, at the same time.

because right now, i really don't know what's right and what's wrong.(no, i'm not insane!) well, technically, i do know what's right and what's wrong.

oh god, this is really hard!

it's over...

2005-05-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

technically, it is. my internship that is.

but we decided to stick around till the last week of May. summer went by so fast. i can't believe it's almost over.

summer classes will last til next week. but our internship will go beyond that. :D

sir mackie gave us a project. he wanted us to create a new PSA for RMN. that's so cool....time to get those creative juices flowing.

i'm glad all my worries are over. i was transferred to my real supervisor just this week. and everyday i'm learning new things. i started by writing news from press releases, then moved on to special news (foreign, business, sports and showbiz), and finally i did news from interviews.

had i been forever stuck to the Bantay OFW program, i wouldn't be able to do those things. but i learned a lot under Sir Marvin's supervision. however, i wanted to try other things. i wanted to go on-air and deliver the news, not just text messages. and i was able to do just that last saturday.

last saturday, i was tasked to read the showbiz news. ron was supposed to do the sports segment. for some weird reasons, we switched and we're both glad we did it. i wouldn't be able to justify that entertainment news. they were pretty impressed.

we went to the field this morning. in brgy. putatan, muntinlupa to be exact. interviewed a few residents of the place. though it was really, really hot, it was another new experience.

and this makes me cry.

i want to extend my stay in the station, whether they want it or not.

i want to work under sir mackie's department. it's really, really cool.

but i'm afraid i won't be able to sustain it once the regular semester starts. with the tv internship and pre-thesis classes.

but mostly, it'll break my heart leaving the people whom i've known pretty well during my entire stay. they were really nice.

even from the FM department. they were...cool.

dj robster, sir buddy, ate leo, sir mackie, kuya ruel, ate met, kuya rod, kuya pon, kuya wilson, sir buddha, ate grace senior, ate grace junior, kuya eric, ate mae, mam niña.

i'll surely miss this people. and i'm hoping this internship wouldn't be the end of everything.

Work. work. work.

2005-05-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

I started my internship last week. Last monday to be exact. And I love it. I love the fact that I have the feel of actually "working" in a radio station. Somehow, this internship made me feel that I'm in the right track. That I have already found my calling.

Except for that crazy and sarcastic pseudo-supervisor of mine. Pseudo, you may ask. That's coz he isn't my real supervisor. As far as my blockmates-slash-co-interns understand, Sir Buddy is our supervisor. And that's according to him too. So why was I assigned to this egomaniac bastard who thinks like he actually pays me to work for him?

The 2nd day of our internship, no job was assigned to me because I left early the day before. So when I arrived that morning, Ate Leo handed me over to this guy. And from then on, he thought he's my supervisor till my internship ends.

Sucks. Big time. He complains about my working hours. I arrive late and then I leave early, according to him. Yes, I do admit I arrive 10-15 mins late sometimes. And that I leave early sometimes. But that's because I still have class in the afternoon. It appears that I come and go as I please. Last Friday, I just worked for 2 hours. But that's because I was covering a conference for my Geography 100 class. DUH?! I do have a valid reason!

Yes, they praise me for being good on-air and for being a good newswriter. I appreciate that. But the fact that he scolds me because of my working hours isn't really fair. My real supervisor, Sir Buddy, is very lenient towards my other co-interns. He doesn't require or oblige us to report to him daily. But that doesn't mean no one accomplishes nothing. Dammit.

I so hate my supervisor. It doesn't matter if they believe in my work. I just don't like working for that f*cking guy!

And you know what I hate the more? Sir Buddy allows interns to read the news on-air. He even told us to do field reporting. I only read the text messages about OFWs asking for addresses of OWWA, POEA, etc. It's not that I don't like it. But it isn't exactly my plan of action for me to learn newscasting and newswriting.

Ma-pride ba ko? Maybe. Or maybe I just know when to quit when I'm not happy anymore with what I do.

Tomorrow, we have a meeting with Sir Buddy. I'll just pray that I be transferred to his department, rather than spend the rest of my internship working with him.

Summer vacation is officially here!

2005-04-10T15:00:00.000+08:00

Finally, my mind is in vacation mode. After endless deadlines of papers and production works, I can finally set my mind at ease. Kicking off my vacation, i finally get to see my high school barkada again, after what it seems like forever since I last saw them. Oh, how I miss them. Although not all were there, it's good that we had the chance to bond and catch up with each other.

When I hear about how my high school friends are now doing, it's a sad thought and a happy one at the same time. Most of them are running for honors, which I'm not. Way back in high school, we were the ones in the honor roll. But hey, no hard feelings. It was my choice after all to just let loose in college and just have fun while studying at the same time. Not that they're not. Anyway, I am happy for them. Finally, they went out of the box and had truly discovered their capacities and abilities. :D

I'm missing them so much. No one can compare to all the stuff we went through during our high school days. And I'm so glad nothing has changed. Roxan said it best when she told us that when we were still in high school, we thought of 20-year-olds as mature and responsible. But look at us now, we're all turning 20 this year (except for Ranx who is now officially 20 yrs. old). She thinks she isn't one of those 20-year-olds who are mature and responsible. I can say that I feel the same way. Well, I'm turning 20 in a few months but I still feel like I'm 16. I don't why.

Tippy was right. I told her that when I meet 23++ year-olds in the chatroom, I think of them as perverts 'coz they're too old for me. Then she told me, "Feeling mo, 16 ka pa rin?" Yeah, apparently I do. :)

I don't know if that's supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well, that's another entry.

BC 197, Here I come!

2005-03-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

Yes, God still loves me.

I feel so blessed.

Nung hindi ako nabunot for the internship after who knows how many chances I had, feeling ko napakasama kong tao to not deserve a slot. But here I am now. Kung kailan natanggap ko na na the summer internship was not meant for me, kung kelan I made alternative plans for the summer already, kung kelan I was dying for summer to come para malaman ko ang reason bakit d ako napiling intern, I was offered a slot. Syempre, palalampasin ko pa ba? I cried the moment Nix confirmed it. I thanked God and my friends. I feel so lucky.

Though meron akong mga co-interns na hindi feel, ok lang. What's important is that I can finish my radio internship this summer. Haggard daw dahil sa professor na magha-handle. Ok lang. I know I can do it as long as my friends are with me to make the rest of the summer blissful enough for me.

In a way, nabawasan ang angst ko sa buhay because of what happened. Aside from that, napili ang aking definitive outline for a drama script we're supposed to accomplish before the term ends. Haay....I honestly don't know what I did to deserve such nice things. I'm scared, though, of what lies ahead, kung ano magiging kapalit ng lahat ng ito.

Let's just wait and see, shall we? I know we're both dying to find out.

Bye-bye summer internship

2005-03-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

I was not picked.

Am I bitter? Maybe.

Am I hurt? Yes.

Am I depressed? Definitely.

I still don't know how to console myself. I tried crying it all out. It helped, even just a bit. I thought of what I could buy that could somehow relieve me of the pain and make me happy. Ultimate Kylie and Nina's latest cd. Or perhaps my brand new pc. Yes.....it could make me happy. But i'm not sure I'll get over it for the rest of the summer.

This semester, I was already supposed to take the internship but I didn't make it on time. To make a long story short, the professor handling the class closed the slots when she promised she would accept had my adviser agreed to let me take that class. This afternoon, 16 slots were drawn to pick the interns for summer. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of them.

I already expected that. I even had an alternative plan if ever I wasn't picked. I plan to enroll in dance classes this summer, while taking some academic units. Thinking about it, I was even excited to go to summer dance class. I'm not sure though whether I would be happier if I enrolled in dance class or if I took my internship. Either way, I'm bound to accomplish something productive this summer.

But I never expected it to hurt this much. What frustrates me is that most of my barkadas were picked. I was the only one left out. Moreso, I could feel na nanghihinayang sila for me. That hurts me more. I do appreciate their concern for me. I really do. But I think that it would help me get over it if they won't pity me. Para I won't feel that left out and kawawa naman. Pero masarap ang feeling na concerned sila sakin.

I can take it the first semester of my fourth year. It will just be a few months from now. But what saddens me is the fact that I won't get to do my internship with my tropa. Mas masaya sana kung kami ang magkakasabay. At least, sa first sem, sabay kami ng thesis partner ko mag-intern. I just feel na hindi ko kayang pagsabayin ang radio internship at program planning classes ko that's why I was pushing for my internship to take place during summer.

Buti na lang I was consoled by my boyfriend. I'm so thankful I spent the day with him. Somehow, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. I was able to cry my heart out. Buti na lang, d ko pa napupublish ang post na ito dahil, buti na lang, nakausap ko ang 2 sa pinakamalapit kong college buddies. (Come on, you guys know who you are. =D ) Medyo gumaan ang feeling ko pagkatapos kong makasama si Anchit, at makausap sina Fin at Nix.

Haay...I'm so lucky these people are around to keep me insane despite everything happening in my life right now.

Overachieving

2005-02-12T03:17:00.000+08:00

I despise overachievers.

Am I insecure? Definitely not. Nor am I defensive.

I can be one if I want to. But then I won't be able to do the things I enjoy doing now. I won't have fun. I wouldn't be able to hang out with my friends, talk endlessly about nonsensical stuff, or just stroll in malls when we feel like doing so.

I have or had my share of awards, medals and honors. And yes, the feeling of being recognized and acknowledged because of the things you accomplished is very fulfilling. Sometimes, it's even hard to grasp the thought of you being able to do such things.

I used to think that the I was just succumbing to the pressure my parents and teachers put me through. But before it was too late, I realized that all the things I'm doing, I'm doing it for myself.

Now that I'm in college, it will be the first time I'll graduate without honors. Do I feel like I disappointed myself after 4 years of hardwork? Yes. But it doesn't mean I see myself as a failure. Quite the contrary, in fact.

This are the years I will treasure the most, not just because of the papers and productions that I have accomplished, but also because of the people I met along the way. I may not be the better student I was way back when I was still in high school and elementary. I may not earned any awards or medals as much as I earned them before. But I learned a lot. So much more than I learned before I entered college.

Everything I experienced in this time of my life is incomparable to whatever I did and went through when I was still quite "immature". I'm not saying I'm all grown up and mature now. Blech. There are more lessons to learn as I grow old. More trials and problems will come my way before I can really say I have found myself. Being able to surpass all these will be the most fulfilling award I can ever earn for myself. It's worth all the pain, sacrifice and hardwork. Ang most of all, I can say that reaping this award is something that I deserve. After all.

birthday boy

2005-02-09T01:43:00.000+08:00

aney ko,

as i told u in my text message awhileago, i'll always be by your side no matter what. and yes, i'm always with you every step of the way. i just can't understand myself for treating you the way i'm treating you. minsan naiisip ko nasisiraan na lang ako ng bait at pinagtatyagaan mo na lang ako kaya d mo ko maiwan.

we've been through a lot, a hell lot. i'm proud that we've come this far. the first time we met, you we're 15 and so was i. but i was turning 16 in a few months then. i was so shocked when you told me you just turned 15. i'm 6 months older than you! pero halata ba? hindi, diba? kasi you act so much more mature than i do. is it because i'm your 7th girlfriend already? haha...seriously, i knew we'd be together someday. i just didn't expect it to be that soon. 2 weeks of courtship? man, you're fast!

if i never believed in soulmates before, then you made me believe in it. a year before we met, we were both in the same place, same date, just different floors. if i'm not mistaken, it was either feb. 14 or 16. rock castle, right? kasama mo pa ung sinundan ko na ex mo and i was with a few friends, too. memorable talaga sakin ang feb.

thinking back, it makes me want to believe that we really are meant to be. i love you so much. kung meron man akong dapat pagsisihan sa past ko, that is getting into relationships too early. para sana the time that you came into my life, you could've been my first. my first kiss. first hug. first date. first everything. and most importantly, we could've been "legal".

if only i studied harder during the time we were together and i didn't let everything affect my studies, they would've allowed me, us. kahit bad boy ka pa. kaya ka nlang pagbigyan siguro kung first boyfriend kita. kaso hinde.

if only they could see how well your family treats me. minsan mas gusto ko pang nagsstay sa inyo dahil nakikita ko kung paano talaga ang isang pamilya pag nasa bahay. i felt that especially nang minsang napagalitan taung dalawa nung naligo tayo sa ulan. magkakasipon daw tau sabi ng mommy mo. how touching.

if only they knew all the hardships i've been through as an individual and as a part of this relationship. those nights when i just cry myself to sleep because i have no one to talk to during the time we broke up. the agony i felt because of hurting you and myself. keeping those feelings to myself because of the fear that opening myself up will further encourage their distrust and paranoia that i can't handle myself when it comes to my relationships.

but i can't live in the past. i can only live in the present and prepare for the future.

and i can only do that with you.

most people think i have a strong personality. but that's just because i know i've got you with me. i'm confident that if i fall and make mistakes (like i always do), you'd be there to catch me.

with the number of friends i have, and a supportive mom like mine, sometimes i still feel alone. when my bestfriend left, i thought i was gonna be alone forever. her leaving was like the end of the road for me.

but i realized you're still there. and knowing that i have you by my side is the biggest assurance i can ever ask for. it's the only thing that sets me at ease.

yes, i know i hurt a million times already. and i know that i will still continue hurting you. and that my thank you's are always accompanied by sorry's. i may not be the best girlfriend you wished for, or the perfect one, for that matter. but i'm trying my best to be that one person who can make you say, "Shit, wala nang magmamahal sakin kagaya ng pagmamahal ni Lala".

i do love you. you may not feel it. but i do. i really do. and once again, thank you for everything we've been through. i'm sorry for everything i did that hurt you and disappointed you in the past.

Of shiftees and transferees

2005-02-03T01:15:00.000+08:00

I'm so damn proud of my course. Yes, I'm taking up BA Broadcast Communication in the College of Mass Communication in the University of the Philippines, Diliman, Quezon City. See how proud I am? Pucha, kumpletong-kumpleto yan. =D

Quota ang course ko and I'm one of the few who passed and belonged to that 50 or so students who were lucky enough to be included in my course. I read somewhere (UP manual or something...whatever) na kaya quota ang ibang courses sa UP is because of the limited equipment that is available to the students. Another quota course I know is BS Computer Science. Pumasa ang kuya ko dyan! Again, limited in the sense that there are not that plenty of computers available for the students. That's why they choose those who belong to the upper percentage of those who passed. Hay...I'm really so lucky and so damn proud.

Kaya ganun na lang ang inis ko sa mga nagshi-shift sa college ko, lalo na sa course ko. We were originally around 36 or 37 in our block. K1 and K2. 6 lang ata ang nasa K2, but still we treated each other as blockmates because we were only few.

I still remember our freshmen orientation as if it was yesterday. Ang pagsayaw ni Ken, ang pagka-amaze ko sa kagandahan ni Josa, ang pagkakapansin ko na parang 3 lang ata ang mga blockmates kong lalake. At ang unang-una kong kaibigan sa UP....si Bonn. We were few, but we were happy.

Then came the shiftees and the transferees from different colleges, campuses and schools, even. Kaya pala d ko sila kilala. I distinctly remember the faces, if not the names, of who my blockmates really were, those who were present during the freshmen orientation.

Some of those shiftees and transferees became my friends, "sisters" even. Some are ok. Some..nevermind. Nah...I like some of them. But there are those who I really don't like. Well.. again...Hate is such a strong word. I want to stop saying, "I hate them". So I'll just put it this way. Our block could've been happier if they were not around.

Iba ang aura nila eh. Sana d na lang sila nag-shift. I really love my blockmates. My original blockmates. And a chosen few, I guess.

I can't explain why I hate it when people shift and transfer into my college AND course. Maybe it's because I worked hard to get into that course. I'm not saying that they didn't. Sila pa nga yung mga mas bibo, mas active at mas energetic. Sila yung palaging CS o kaya US. Pero iba ang orig eh...dba?

Plus, I have a theory on why most of those who join organizations are the "newbies" into that college, excluding the freshmen, of course. I'm thinking it's because they feel the need to belong. They feel the need to make friends quickly that's why they immerse themselves in an organization, to meet new people.

I have few friends who are shiftees and transferees, and I love them dearly. Need I name them? I'm sure they know who they are. Hhmm....WIll i name them or not? SIge na nga...maybe just a few. Kasi few talaga sila! haha....

Ron, Epy, Ces, Che, Penny...Then there's Annelle, Mariel, Eddilyn, Niner, Tricia, Val...Some may be goody-two-shoes, but they're not that self-righteous. And mostly, I'm comfortable with them. Therefore, I like them. =D The rest....err....

You Know You're Filipino When...

2005-01-29T22:44:00.000+08:00

All those in bold are what I see myself doing. =D

Your middle name is your mother's maiden name.

Your parents call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy." (It's "mama" and "papa".)

You have uncles and aunts named "Boy," "Girlie," or "Baby." (just "Boy"!)

You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables like "Jun-Jun," "Ling-Ling," and "Mon-Mon."

You call the parents of your friends and your own parents' friends "Tito" and "Tita."

You have four or five names. (Nicknames? Yes. Given name? 3. Still long!) *teehee*)

You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead. (Difficult esp. during reunions. D@mn!)

You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave the room. (just my mom, though)

You follow your parents' house rules even if you are over 18.

You live with your parents until and at times even after you're married.

You decorate your dining room wall with a picture of the "Last Supper."

You keep your furniture wrapped in plastic or covered with blankets.

You have a Sto. Nino shrine in your living room.

You have a piano that no one plays. (Hey, i used to!)

You keep a tabo in your bathroom. (Each and every bathroom)

You use Vicks Vapor rub as an insect repellant.

You eat with your hands.

You eat more than three times a day.

You think a meal is not a meal without rice.

You think sandwiches are snacks, not meals.

Your dining table has a merry-go-round (lazy Susan) in the middle.

You bring baon to work everyday.

Your pantry is never without Spam, Vienna sausage, corned beef, and sardines.

You love to eat daing or tuyo. (Daing lang!)

You prop up one knee while eating. (Sometimes, even in other people's houses)

You eat your meal with patis, toyo, suka, banana catsup, or bagoong. (Catsup & mayo!weee!!)

Your tablecloths are stained with toyo circles.

You love sticky desserts and salty snacks.

You eat fried Spam and hot dogs with rice. (Love Spam so much!)

You eat mangoes with rice--with great GUSTO!

You love "dirty" ice cream.

You love to eat, yet often manage to stay slim. (I love to eat. period.)

You put hotdogs in your spaghetti.

Everything you eat is sauted in garlic, onion, and tomatoes.

You order a "soft drink" instead of soda.

You hang a rosary on your car's rear view mirror.

You get together with family at a cemetery on All Saint's Day to eat, drink, and tell stories by your loved ones' graves.

You play cards or mahjong and drink beer at funeral wakes.

You think Christmas season begins in October and ends in January.

Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.

You've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity.

You collect items from airlines, hotels, and restaurants as "souvenirs."

You feel obligated to give pasalubong to all your friends and relatives each time you return from a trip.

You use paper foot outlines when buying shoes for friends and relatives.

You're a fashion victim.

You can convey 30 messages with your facial expression.

You hold your palms together in front of you and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.

You ask for the bill at a restaurant by making a rectangle in the air.

You cover your mouth when you laugh. (Esp. when I laugh so hard)

You respond to a "Hoy!" or a "Pssst!" in a crowd. (This I try to avoid as much as possible. I have a name, for crying out loud!)

You'll answer "Malapit lang!"--no matter the distance--when asked how far away a place is located.

Goldilocks is more than a fairy tale character to you.

You refer to power interruptions as "brownouts."

You love to use the following acronyms: CR for comfort room, DI for dance instructor, DOM for dirty old man, TNT for tago nang tago, KJ for kill joy, KSP for kulang sa pansin, OA for over-acting, TL for true love, BF for boyfriend and GF for girlfriend.

You say "rubber shoes" instead of sneakers, "ball pen" instead of pen, "stockings" instead of pantyhose, "pampers" instead of diapers, "ref" or "prijider" instead of refrigerator, "Colgate" instead of toothpaste, "canteen" instead of cafeteria, and "open" or "close" instead of turn on or turn off (as in the lights).

You use an umbrella for shade on hot summer days.

You like everything imported or "state-side."

You love ballroom dancing, bowling, pusoy, mah jong, billiards, and karaoke.

You have a relative who is a nurse.

When you're in a restaurant, you wipe your plate and utensils before using them. (Just the utensils...kakahiya!)

You can squeeze 15 passengers into your five seater car without a second thought.

You wave a pom-pom on a stick around the food to keep the flies away.

You always ring a doorbell twice, assuming that the first ring was not heard.

You let the phone ring twice before answering, lest you appear overly eager.

Your other piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.

You use a rock to scrub yourself in the bath or shower.

You're proud to be Filipino - and you pass these jokes on to all your Filipino friends!

Sisihan

2005-01-27T02:26:00.000+08:00

Just as I was thinking of a reaction to the previous post, I found the perfect retort for it! Of course, it was also a forwarded mail. It's about two-timing, an aspect of guys that they always get away with it because "lalake ako,eh". Guys complain about how hard it is to court girls, girls whine about how guys aren't contented with just one girl. So here it is....

Guys.. Ganyan ba talaga kayo? Akala niyo ba ganun lang kadali ang lahat? Akala niyo ba kapag nakasakit kayo ng damdamin ‘sorry’ lang ang katapat non at okay na ulit ang lahat? Well, sorry din.. Hindi po ganun kadali ang lahat.

Bakit ba kayo ganyan? Yung kalayaan niyong sabihin ang nararamdaman niyo sa mga babaeng nagugustuhan niyo, hindi niyo ginagamit nang tama. Inaabuso niyo. Hindi niyo man lang naisip kung gano kasakit ang nararamdaman namen. Sige lang kayo nang sige. Kailangan niyo pa bang manloko?

..Ang lakas naman ng loob niyong sabihin na tanggap lang kame nang tanggap. Akala niyo lang yon! Hindi niyo kase sinusubukang makiramdam eh. Tapos kame pa ang sasabihin niyo ng ‘manhid’. Eh ngayon kaya, sino ang mas manhid?!Kayang-kaya naman namen kayong tanggapin eh. Pero ang matatanggap lang namen eh yung mga pinapakita niyo lang.

Wag niyo naman sanang asahan na kaya naming tanggapin ang lahat-lahat lalo na yung mga bagay na tinago niyo. Mga bagay na sana nung umpisa palang eh sinabi niyo na. Mga bagay na akala niyo maitatago niyo habang unti-unti niyo kaming hinuhulog sa malalim na hukay. Isang hukay na sa bandang huli, hindi niyo rin naman kame tutulungang makaahon at makaalis. Bigla niyo na lang kaming iiwanan don nang ganun-ganun na lang..Wag niyong ibigay na dahilan na ‘nature na talaga ng mga lalake yon’.. Dahil kung gugustuhin niyo, magagawa niyong hindi manloko. Magagawa niyong maging ‘tapat’ at ‘totoo’ sa mga tao lalo na sa nililigawan niyo o sa girlfriend niyo.. Wag niyo ring sabihin na yung babae ang nagpakita ng motibo, dahil kung talagang tapat kayo, hindi niyo naman papatulan eh

..Bakit kailangan niyo pang makipagflirt sa ibang babae kung may girlfriend na kayo? Bakit kailangan niyo pang manligaw ng ibang babae kung may girlfriend na kayo? Hindi ba kayo makuntento sa isa? Hindi ba kayo sigurado sa pinasok niyong relationship? Kung hindi pala, eh di sana hindi niyo nalang pinasok yon. Eh di sana bago pa tuluyang nahulog sa inyo yung nililigawan niyo eh nagsabi na kayo nang totoo..Bakit kailangang itago niyo pa na may girlfriend kayo tapos manliligaw kayo ng iba?

.. At kapag malapit na kayong maipit, bigla niyo namang maiisipang magtapat. Ang malupit pa don, bago kayo magtapat, sasabihin niyo pa nang paulit-ulit na hindi kayo nanloko at totoo ang nararamdaman niyong mahal niyo kame. Hindi lang yon. Tatanungin niyo pa kame kung naniniwala ba kame na mahal niyo nga kame. Sabay bigla niyong sasabihin na may girlfriend kayo! Ano yon?! Ganun na lang ba yon? Pano niyo pa kame mapapaniwala sa mga sinasabi niyo? Tapos sasabihin niyong hindi kayo nanloloko?! Eh anong tawag don? Pagbibiro?!

Sana naman mag-isip muna kayo sa mga ginagawa niyo. Kung ayaw niyo na sa girlfriend niyo, sabihin niyo naman. Wag kayong maghanap ng iba. Huwag kayong manligaw ng iba at kapag sinagot na kayo, saka niyo lang iiwan yung girlfriend niyo. Ano yun, ‘fallback’?!

Sana kahit minsan, subukan niyo namang ilagay ang sarili niyo sa kalagayan namen. Isipin niyo kung ano ang mararamdaman niyo kung sa inyo gawin yon.Pinipilit na ngang maging totoo sa inyo ng mga babae tapos gagaguhin niyo pa.. Pinipilit na ngang maging open sa inyo tapos lolokohin niyo pa.. Paiibigin niyo nang todo tapos bigla niyo namang iiwan.. Pipilitin niyong mahulog sa inyo tapos hindi niyo naman sasaluhin..Ano ba tong mundo na to? Puro lokohan na lang ba? Wala na bang nabubuhay pang matitinong lalake? Yung kayang magmahal nang tapat.. Yung kayang maging totoo sa ka-relationship niya lalung-lalo na sa sarili niya..

Shoot Me

2005-01-27T02:13:00.000+08:00

In my previous post I mentioned how I was looking forward to our supposed friday night out last week. Sadly, only 4 of us pushed through. What's sadder though, is that, 2 blockmates of ours who is supposed to belong in our "barkada" joined a different clique. I mean, I like these friends of ours, but I can't understand why they don't join us when we go out, like when we watch movies or eat out. The other one does, btw. I know...I have to understand them. The thing is, the company they goes out with are what my friends and I call, the "self-righteous" people. I'm not labelling them or anything. I'm not against them either, personally that is.

Which brings us to another topic.

Religion.

I'm a Catholic but i'm not a devout Catholic, which means I don't go to church and I don't attend anything similar to that. I just don't believe in it. I believe in God, but it doesn't necessarily follow that I believe in the church. Nor do I believe in messengers or priests, pastors or preachers. I don't read the bible,either. Am I bad? To others, maybe. But I don't think so. I can justify that.

I'd rather that I talk to God directly, you know, through prayers. That's when my faith is the strongest. I believe that through praying I can converse with God without having a medium or a bridge. When I pray, I can tell Him everything. It eases my problems and it lightens the heavy feeling I have in my heart, especially when I really need someone to talk to. I talk to Him and I can feel that everything's ok, if not now, it will be soon. I ask for forgiveness when I make mistakes. By committing mistakes, I learn the value of what is good and what is bad. I do things even if I know they're wrong. I do things because I know I'll learn something from it eventually, whether it will be positive or negative. I hate being uptight. I enjoy what I'm doing and I don't want others dictating me and telling me what to do. Moreover, I hate telling people how they should lead their lives. And lastly, I hate it when someone preaches me about what is right and what is wrong.

These are the things that will restrict you from enjoying your life. I'm not saying it's bad. It's up to you. It's up to you to decide how you want to live your life. But I tell you, restricting yourself and limiting yourself to the boundaries and the values others have set for you will only lead to your destruction. Because nothing destroys more than a repressed soul.

Which brings me back to what I was saying before.

This 2 friends of mine I'm talking about, they're nice. They're funny. I love them. I just don't understand how they could manage to be in that company. Well....I may never will. Maybe I'm just taking it personally. Maybe I just really hate the type of people who are "self-righteous". Believe me, they really are. One of them even said, he doesn't watch OUT because it "glorifies something that is absolutely wrong". Dammit, a century ago, being gay may be wrong. Hello??!! It's the 21st century already. Everybody's gay!! Except for them....maybe. Putting aside my evil self, I don't understand this people and I may never will. But I don't really care. The only reason it disturbs me is that they're with 2 dear friends of mine! And i hate it. I keep saying hate. Hate is such a strong word.....and I like it!! What can I do? That's how I feel and I'm not sorry for it. What's worse? We call these group THE OTHERS, which I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. They're totally the opposite of us. The goody-two-shoes. It's like they're-so-perfect-they're-always-right. Oh man, I have got to stop hating them. Well...Maybe I don't hate them that much, but I don't like them either. Fun fact though, one of those who belong in that "self-righteous" group is supposed to be a "sister" of ours. Yeah. Whatever.

Courting girls

2005-01-27T01:38:00.000+08:00

An email forwarded by my dear SVC sis, Monica Galvey, aka Icang. :D Still thinkin' on what to say about it. But I found this article really funny, and kinda true.

*gabe. usapang lalake*

*sindi ng yosi*

*hithit*

*buga*

Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni.Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi komaintindihan. Ewan ko ba.

*hinga ng malalim*

Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralanpero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit sanganggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mgalalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal.

*tingin sa stars*

Minsan naiisip ko, alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap nglalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ngpagmamahal? E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligawat pagsuyo sa mahal nya? Ang feeling ng masaktan pagnabasted? Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Walanaman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Angalam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya.Tingin mo?

*tingin sa malayo*

Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang, lalake na angnaghihirap. Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago payun, kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten paramasabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kayanila yun? Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae,diba? Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahalnga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max. Maghahatid sa bahay,tutulungan, sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan,lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walangsahod. At ano ang kapalit? Well, depende sa trip nila.Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodangmahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag dinila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuhanaten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mgaasing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit nadi man lang sinusukat bago ayawan. Kaya kahit mahal namahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo. Hindi nilaalam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot angkanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip,iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan.Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi. Hindi pa ko ready eh.. , sorrypero I think we should just befriends.. , Ha? Uhhmm.. nagpapatawa ka ba?Hahahaha.. Better luck next time na lang muna, okaylang? , Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna.. , Para lang kitang patide.. , yaddah yaddah. Isangmalaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa yon parasaten.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok*

*lunok*

At hindi lang yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage palang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin anghassle. Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawakng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo angdapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo angmagiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo.Sila? Ummm Teka, isipin ko.Ayun. Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapatmagmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy atkabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kunganu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kungkelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedengtumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat badtripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni. Ewan.Ganun ata talaga.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok*

*lunok*

Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo ang bahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda,edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haaybuhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo.Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun.

*hinga ng malalim*

Pero alam mo tol, feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e.Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kungmagmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindiyung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyomagseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama,at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan.Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal.

*hinga ng malalim*

*tingin sa malayo ulit*

At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap.

*singhot*

Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong to, eithersawa na sila, hindi na tayo trip, may nahanap nasilang better saten, o kaya they need f*cking spaceand time muna. Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayongchoice. Sila ang masusunod.At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don? Syempre wasak naang imahe naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan. Naplayboy. Na nagpapaiyak.

*iiling*

Tayo siyempre ang mga antagonist at sila yung mgabidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak. Angending: mag-ooffer sila ng friendship kuno matapostayong pagsawaan, lahat ng gifts naten nasa kanila,sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, player na ang image naten, athigit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloyang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saannagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagigingsingle, at di na naman makakatulog.Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na langnaiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love kano?Ako, kamusta? Eto. Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntonghininga. Titingin-tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni.Lalagok-lagok ng alak. Ang mga babae talaga, oo.

Of friends and...barkadas

2005-01-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

I can say that I always get to belong in the best clique in school there is. I'm proud, I'm glad and I'm satisfied that I have the best barkada in the whole world! And although I always belonged to an all-girl barkada, it never affected the way I treat my guy friends. In fact, it even made me a better girl-friend.

When I was in elementary, my first ever barkada was named Nirvana girls. Sounds corny? Looking back now, yeah. Haha...There was Hannah, Akhris, Lyanne, Jeniffer, Antoniette (yes, same name as mine. different spelling though), and Razzel. I'm missing them so much already. They taught me the value of friendship. And even if we were still immature those times, filled with envy,jealousy and intrigues, we survived for a year. ANd of course, graduation day was the most miserable day for us. Only 2 of my friends shared the same school as mine. The three of us never transferred to different schools. The rest were gone. And since no cellphones existed then (if there are, just those analog-slash-pang-meralco phones), our only way of communicating was by phone. When we reached high school, telebabad to the max. But school came in the way. We were all so busy that the only bakal girls I talked to were those 2 friends of mine who became my classmates. One who became my best girlfriend ever, Lyanne. She was my classmate since kindergarten one. Akhris and I, on the other hand, drifted away.

Two years later, a group of girlfriends and I gave birth to the Plan B. We became close because we were all seatmates. Our surnames all started in letters R and S. Luckily, we belong to the Special Science class, which means that since we belong to the Science department, our classroom was similar to that of a laboratory, with all that elongated tables able to fill up 8-9 students. But those were just majority of the members. The other 3 girls belonged to the table in front of us, whose surnames started with M and N. Haha...Lyanne was there, Grace, Joy, Joanne (aka Big Hug), Chie, Ranx and so were I. That was also the time when we had guy barkadas. So there was a Plan B girls, and Plan B boys. We were so close and bonded that our memories were so plenty that thinking about them now really makes me cry. I miss them more than I miss my elementary friends. We shared 4 years of friendship, the last 2 which made us even closer. We had ups and we had downs. Going into college separated us. One went to UST, PUP and AUP, 2 went to CEU, and 2 to UP. I was one of those two who luckily passed in UP. And though we're in different schools now, we meet up once in a while. Birthdays, sembreaks, and on more than one occasion, funerals. What's nice is that most of the time, we meet up simultaneously with the whole class. Most of the time, it would turn out into a class reunion!

Now that I'm in college, I have another set of barkada, the prestigious sorority of SVC and its fraternity LB. It was founded during the overnight rehearsals for our BC101 Radio Production class. It was for our final production, a radio drama for children. It was also the birthday of one of the founding members of the SVC. How lucky can I get? Instantly the whole class became the SVC, we were all girls of course. No single man. I didn't belong to those founding members. But I love SVC so much that "founding members" aren't much of an issue. Our fraternity, LB, houses most of the guys in our block. Only the coolest and the closest ones to us, for that. SVC-LB is about to turn one. But it doesn't mean we don't have that much of memories to share. In fact, in such a short time, we became a family. And it will go on for life....

What's the common factor in all my barkadas?

1. Most of the prettiest girls of my batch are there. Not to brag, but it's true. See for yourself. Check out my gallery. =D

2. Most of my barkadas belong to the Top 10 of my batch. Which means they influenced and are still an inspiration for me to work harder and study better.

3. We're the coolest among the others. 'Nuff said.

And oh, if you're wondering where we got our names:

Bakal/Nirvana Girls - most of us had either braces or retainers at that time. Nirvana? just sounded cool, I guess. :D

Tropang Plan B - we always plan our gimmicks and nothing ever happens. So we had to had a backup plan. Which always ended up watching R-18 movies. Haha....

SVC-LB - that you just have to find out. Only members know what it really means.

If that doesn't show how proud I am of all my friends, nothing can and nothing will.

Go here

2005-01-10T09:04:00.000+08:00

My first and last post.

Please proceed to my blogsite:

Http://itsme.blogspirit.com

thanks!

notforthefainthearted

Next set

as promised...

It's not my fault!

Welcome Twinkle!

Paumanhin

My personality is....

BLIND

***Your Seduction Style: Prized Object***

Sembreak

Extreme

Finally!

Say bye-bye to teenage years

Badtrip ka

Tropa ko

How To Treat The Woman You Love

i'll be missing you

Reasons why Women find it hard to find the Man of their Dreams

right and wrong

it's over...

Work. work. work.

Summer vacation is officially here!

BC 197, Here I come!

Bye-bye summer internship

Overachieving

birthday boy

Of shiftees and transferees

You Know You're Filipino When...

Sisihan

Shoot Me

Courting girls

Of friends and...barkadas

Go here

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object